youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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