My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize