It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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