You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
