Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
