where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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