there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
