Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
