soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
