I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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