Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
