I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
