dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
