i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
