i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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