I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
