We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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