There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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