hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
