you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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