Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize