I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
