Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
