So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
