found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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