I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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