Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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