see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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