Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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