In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Green mimosas i think yes
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize