please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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