happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
