Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
