So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
