He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
