can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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