He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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