I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
