so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I touched a dick in church today
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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