Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
