i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I want her autograph on my taint
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
