i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
don't judge my taste in strippers
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
