I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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