I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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