I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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