I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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