let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
