My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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