Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
