New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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