I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
