he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
