I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
