Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize