Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
