stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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