Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
