Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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