I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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