Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
