I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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