It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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