1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
