There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize