Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
