I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
