i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
