people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
