how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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