i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
