so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
